It’s time to celebrate your independence from lame! Yes, we just made that up. This blog is a professional wordsmith.

The July 4 weekend is going to be a blast in Las Vegas, as Sin City embraces many of the things that make America great: hooch, over-the-top shows, inappropriately short miniskirts and pool party blow-outs. Oh, and liberty and all that.

As we’ve reported, the centerpiece of the Independence Day weekend will be the fireworks display launched from atop Caesars Palace on July 3, a scene this blog has re-created below through its clumsy and obvious use of Photoshop.

Like it'd kill you to pretend this is an actual photo of fireworks at Caesars Palace.

Grab more hastily-researched information about all the July 4 weekend fireworks fun to be had in Las Vegas.

What follow are more July 4 weekend highlights. (Translation: Like we have the time or energy to provide a comprehensive list. We’re sticking with “highlights,” thanks.)

* Holly Madison, star of “Peepshow” at Planet Hollywood, will make a special appearance at the Flamingo Vegas Go Pool on July 2.

Note: The oohs and aahs you hear in Vegas aren't always related to July 4 fireworks.

* In honor of the 4th of July weekend, Harrah’s Las Vegas will have a special guest DJ (Dj Tiny) at its pool on July 2-3, noon to 5:00 p.m. Also of note, just for the July 4 weekend, the hotel’s buffet, Flavors, will be serving up a special menu.

* Imperial Palace joins in the celebration with special guest DJs at its pool, too. On July 2, it’s DJ Amanda Rose, and on July 3, DJ Divina cranks out the tunes.

* Also at Imperial Palace, Rockhouse will give a free drink to any woman in a red, white or blue bikini on July 4. Hey, you were going to wear one, anyway, right? The party continues with $4 shots, $4 draft beers and other liver-friendly diversions.

* The Backstreet Boys play The Beach at Mandalay Bay on July 2. The official after-party happens at Gallery Nightclub at Planet Hollywood. If it weren’t true, would we have a graphic that says so?

Backstreet's back, all right. (It's a '90s thing.)

* Few things say, “Happy birthday, America!” like a car-crushing mechanical dinosaur. July 3, the Las Vegas Motor Speedway hosts its Annual Night of Fire at the Bullring, 5:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. The events also features fireworks and some car stuff (Jet Car burn, NASCAR Super Late Model racing) this blog doesn’t entirely grasp the appeal of. Oh, and Robosaurus. Now, that’s cool.

* VooDoo, atop the Rio Vegas, has a full slate of guests DJs scheduled to make the July 4 weekend get its groove on. Assuming people still do that.

Please don't try to read all that small print. This graphic is for illustrative purposes only. Our lawyers are busy enough, thanks.

* The Fremont Street Experience, downtown, hosts a free concert by Colin Hay (of Men at Work) on July 2, 9:00 p.m.

* On July 2, McFadden’s at Rio Vegas hosts its “Red, White and Booze” event. It’s all-you-can-drink from 8:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. for $15. Ask about the $2 red, white and blue Jell-O shots, and more. Bail bondsman not included.

* PBR Rock Bar at Planet Hollywood has tons of “Beers, Bulls and BBQ” goodness planned all July 4 weekend, including $5 Washington apple shots, $1 bull rides and red, white and blue daiquiris. Learn more about how to ride a mechanical bull.

Isn't "beer" the plural of "beer"? Oh, who cares? We love PBR Rock Bar!

* The outdoor terrace at Chateau, the new nightclub at Paris Vegas, will open at 11:00 a.m. on July 4 for a soiree featuring burgers, dogs and other Independence Day-inspired treats.

Here’s the ultimate July 4 weekend insider hook-up: When you’re at your favorite hotels in Las Vegas, always make sure to check in using Facebook Places. Checking in is a painless way to get special offers. To find out what offers are out there, visit the Facebook page of your favorite Vegas hotels like O’Sheas, Rio Vegas, Imperial Palace or Paris Vegas and click on the “Deals” link. All these hotels currently have 2-for-1 drink offers at any casino bar, just for checking in.

How will you be spending your July 4th weekend? Why not make it Las Vegas?

You never know what discoveries you’ll make when you’re out and about in Las Vegas.

During a recent stop at the Eiffel Tower Restaurant at Paris Las Vegas, we found out something we’d wondered about for ages. You know when you’re in a restaurant, and after your meal they come around with one of those crumb scraper thingys?

Yeah, those.

What are those things called, anyway?

Well, the helpful and perfectly-groomed staff at the Eiffel Tower Restaurant gave us the answer: They’re called “crumbers.”

Intuitive, you say? True. But did you know they’re also called “groomers”?

Do we hook you up or what?

Insert gratuitous Eiffel Tower Restaurant creme brulee photo here. Our favorite dessert on the Strip.

Read more about this world-class restaurant, including its incredible view, slick matches, mouth-watering sorbet, celebrity guests and prix fixe theater menu. And did we mention their forward-thinking tableside service to help you share your food photos on Facebook and Twitter? Check it out.

It’s time for another installment of “So, You Think You Know Vegas?” Why? Because “taking a photo” is a lot easier than “actually writing a blog post,” of course.

Where in Sin City did we take this photo?

We were going to call this feature, "Where the Hell Are We?," but our mom reads this blog sometimes.

Post your best guess in the Comments section for bragging rights. (Translation: “What, you need a prize for everything?”)

Downtown Las Vegas is experiencing a boom of late, including a new crop of trendy bars. Recently, we hit one of the more buzzworthy hang-outs, Insert Coins, a self-described “Videolounge Gamebar.”

Yes, we know they prefer "Insert Coin(s)," but we find that mildly annoying. (Parentheses should be reserved for snark, thank you.)

The 21-and-older joint, located in the Fremont Street East district, is a lively mix of bar and nightclub and video arcade, all in one.

The color-changing bar is the visual centerpiece of Insert Coins, but the collection of videogames are what truly set the bar apart.

We're big fans of glowy bars.

The question arises, however: How does one enjoy the libations while playing a classic video game like Tron, Frogger, Donkey Kong or Joust?

Enter one of the best inventions ever: The videogame cabinet-front folding beverage holder thingy.

Zombies, you're about to receive a smack-down from our constant companion, Captain Morgan.

In addition to the thingy-equipped stand-alone videogames, Insert Coins also has cushy private booths along one wall, billed as “mini living rooms.”

Just like home, but without the nagging.

The group-friendly booths can be reserved, and each includes two videogame platforms (PS3, Xbox 360 and even Atari 2600, among them) with thousands of game options. Kind of like bottle service at a Strip nightclub, but alien-blastier.

Try your hand at Galaga, Asteroids, Space Invaders, Tetris and other throw-back classics, all in the company of your friends and favorite alcoholic beverages. Two words: Nerd. Nirvana.

Bar + videogames = awesome.

Insert Coins is definitely worth a stop when you’re downtown. Find out more on the official Insert Coins site.

Want to know more about the downtown bar scene? Check out this great new site, FremontStreetBars.com.

So, there you are, taking a leisurely stroll down the famed Las Vegas Strip. Having the time of your life. People-watching. Seeing sights. Getting your Vegas on.

Then something catches your eye outside Caesars Palace. It’s a bus, with an ad on the side.

Isn't that cute? Teller's jumping rope. Uh, wait a minute.

It doesn’t take long to realize this isn’t your everyday, ordinary ad. It’s an ad featuring Rio Las Vegas headliners, and perpetual troublemakers, Penn & Teller.

Yes, Teller’s playing jump rope, all right. With Penn’s brain.

We're thinking someone should alert the authorities.

Just another unforgettable “Only in Vegas” moment, courtesy of this slightly-demented duo. (Who, incidentally, recently received the key to the city from Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman. See the video.)

You can benefit from their twisted, and wildly imaginative, minds when you catch “Penn & Teller” at Rio Vegas. Make sure to hang out for the meet-and-greet!

Once you see the show, you won’t be able to get them out of your head. So to speak.

When we first heard about the new “Viper Vixens” flesh-stravaganza (not a real word) at O’Sheas, we thought, “Oh, that’s a recipe for disaster.” The combination of scantily-clad woman and sharp objects hasn’t really panned out for this blog in the past, but after seeing the show in person, we’re kind of over our apprehensions.

Things are about to get dicey. (See what we did there?)

Viper Vixens follows in the time-honored tradition of topless Vegas revues, but with a twist. The show features a cast of four talented and bendy women, each with a specialty weapon and persona loosely-inspired by Quentin Tarantino’s “Deadly Viper Assassination Squad” in the “Kill Bill” movies.

That craving you’re suddenly having is for some exclusive video of the show. We can do that. We are a Las Vegas blog.

The ringleader of the group is Ottavio Gesmundo (code name: King Cobra) who performs as well as producing, directing and choreographing the show. To be fair, Gesmundo is also bendy. And exceedingly talented with a crossbow.

CGI just got schooled. This is real-life onstage peril, folks.

Perhaps the biggest twist of the show is that, well, how do we put this delicately? It’s actually sexy. Why is this a twist? Because lots of shows in Vegas say they’re sexy, and there’s a lot of music and dancing body parts but, well, sexy? Not so much.

“Viper Vixens” is up-close and often interactive. It’s writhey. It’s toplessy. It exudes sexy. Oh, just watch the video again.

See? Right there! Sexy is being exuded!

Here’s how the cast, and weaponry, break down.

Sidewinder (pictured above) is played by Drea Hall and her weapon of choice is the whip. (Is it ever.) Amy Brunner plays Copperhead, and her weapon is the sai. Black Mamba is played by Naomi Brenkman-Gesmundo (below), and she gives “Mr. G” a run for his money with the crossbow.

Black Mamba talks, we listen. 'Nuff said.

Diamondback is played by Ashley Collingwood-Gaudette and is a master of the pole. (Look at the jokes we’re not making. Hello, it’s called “maturity.”)

Also featured in the show are Samurai katana swords, Kama blades, Escrima or Kali fighting sticks. And thighs. Lots of thighs.

Singer Deena Cary (code name: Cottonmouth, below) contributes live vocals to the festivities. In a former life, she toured the country opening for artists like Big & Rich, Earth, Wind & Fire and other groups with ampersands in their names.

Singer Deena Carrie shows off her diaphragm control. It's a singing thing.

The “Viper Vixens” is an 18-and-older-only show and can be seen at O’Sheas nightly at 9:00 p.m. (dark Sundays). Find out more about tickets.

Added bonus: On the night we visited, cast members from “Viper Vixens” were working the crowd in the beer pong pit at O’Sheas before they went onstage. Lucky guests got the chance to challenge the ladies to beer pong matches to win show tickets. We hear they do this often, so stop by and try to snag some free tickets.

Ashley not only knows martial arts, she's also a master of beer pong trash talk.

It’s time to carve yourself off some exclusive photo gallery goodness, below, that you won’t find anywhere else. Which, we realize is what “exclusive” means, but remember, this blog also caters to those who graduated from the public education system. We’ll see you at O’Sheas.

This blog’s love of Las Vegas is no secret, so our friends tend to pass along Vegas-related items they think we’ll find interesting. This time, a friend gave us two vintage postcards and they filled our heart with relative glee, so we thought we’d share.

First, a fond look back at the recently-closed Sahara hotel.

Old-school Vegas awesomeness.

The closure of the Sahara brought a metaphorical tear to the eyes of those who love Vegas and its colorful history, but the legend lives on in, well, postcards, at least.

This particular postcard was mailed on Mar. 5, 1980. Hilariously, on the back was written in a tongue-in-cheek scrawl, “Hi. Send money. Bye!”

We got out our metaphorical magnifying glass to see what details we could extract from the card, and the hotel’s main sign (far left) trumpets the names Totie Fields and Bert Convy. Worth noting on the same sign: At the time, the hotel was called “Del Webb’s Sahara.”

On the hotel itself, another sign boasts the name of a comedic institution, Buddy Hackett. The closer, “Hotel Entrance,” sign conveys another Vegas institution: “Valet Parking Front Entrance.” (Yay, free!)

Other details on the back of the postcard that nobody but us probably cares all that much about: The photo is by Don Ceppi, distributed by the Las Vegas News Agency. Postage on the card: Ten cents.

Next up, a postcard featuring Fremont Street in downtown Las Vegas, pre-”Experience.”

More metaphorical tears, thanks.

This beauty is so full of vintage Vegas, this blog’s head nearly imploded.

Let’s start with the postmark: 1961. That makes this bad boy 50 years old, and we’re not even all that good at math.

The caption on the back of the postcard reads, “Fremont Street at Night. A Las Vegas night scene along Fremont Street, commonly known as ‘Glitter Gulch.’ The busiest street in the world where the doors never close.” Love that. Still applies to downtown and the Strip, come to think of it.

Magnifying glass out! Some signs we can make out: Overland Hotel, Jackpot Arcade, Las Vegas Club, Hotel Fremont, Hotel Apache, Boulder Club, Bingo, Lucky Strike and a darkened Monte Carlo.

Of course, the iconic neon cowboy, Vegas Vic. He’s stood in his current spot on Fremont Street since 1951. (Sadly, his waving arm stopped working in 1991.)

Here's a vintage photo of Vegas Vic we took, oh, two weeks ago. "Please fix my lights, podner," says Vic.

Here’s a fascinating part of the photo on this postcard. Closest to the camera is a sign saying, “Hotel Sal Sagev” (Las Vegas spelled backwards). A little history is in order. The Hotel Nevada opened in that spot in 1906, and in 1931, it was expanded and renamed Hotel Sal Sagev. In 1955, new owners changed the name again to the Golden Gate Casino. So, the photo on this card captured the hotel with both its names, old and new, on the signs.

Golden Gate trivia: In 1907, the hotel was given the first telephone number in Las Vegas. The number? Just “1.” Read more.

More stuff on the back of the postcard: “Color by D. Lidikay, Union Pacific R.R.” and presumably, the photographer, “Copyright Ferris H. Scott, Santa Ana, CA.”

Are we having some Vegas history fun yet, or what?

People do Las Vegas in different ways. Some do Vegas easy. They relax at Qua spa, they play  a round of golf or spend their time lounging poolside. Vegas can do laid-back, definitely.

Others prefer to do Vegas hard. They wake at 2:00 p.m. and party through the night, until there’s no party left in them. They make Vegas an experiment in extremes, hitting night spot after night spot, free-falling from the Strat, over-indulging with a Buffet of Buffets pass and drinking out of large receptacles, truly putting their livers to the test.

For those intrepid souls, we present three finds that just might help one survive a Sin City blitz.

The Walk of Shame Kit

In Vegas, you never know when you’re going to end up having to take the “Walk of Shame.”

You know the one. It’s that long, embarrassing stroll from a new friend’s hotel room to your car (or back to your hotel room). Don’t take the walk without being prepared. Check out the Walk of Shame Kit.

We hate when people get our ideas before we have them.

The Walk of Shame Kit contains everything you’ll need to make your morning-after moment a tad less humiliating, including things like a dress, flip-flops, sunglasses and a pre-pasted toothbrush.

The “call/don’t call” leave-behind note card is a nice touch, too.

Photo Protective Sunglasses

One of the hazards of our digital age is the prospect of having your face plastered all over Facebook and other social networking sites after a weekend of debauchery in Las Vegas. Here’s the perfect solution, the “Embarrassing Photo Protective Sunglasses” from Urban Outfitters.

Paparazzo, you just got schooled.

Now, you can live our your Vegas fantasies in relative anonymity. They’re also a great conversation piece when you’re trolling the Strip. (That’s where we first saw them in action. On someone else. Probably.)

The identity-concealing shades are just 12 bucks and can save a lifetime of humiliation and snide comments from co-workers once you’re back in the real world. Take a look.

Last Night Never Happened App

While perusing one of our favorite Vegas weeklies, Vegas Seven magazine, we saw a write-up about an app that seems tailor-made for Las Vegas, the “Last Night Never Happened” app.

Billed as the “world’s first morning-after app,” the app seeks out and destroys any ill-considered Tweets or Facebook posts you may have made in the heat of the Vegas moment.

So long, drunk Tweets!

How does it work? Just choose which social networks to log into, set the dial to the number of hours back you’d like to delete and the app shows exactly how many items you posted during that time. Once you hit the “Last Night Never Happened” button and confirm, your posts are removed, like magic. Lawsuits avoided!

We honestly have no idea if this app actually does what it says it does. We are a Las vegas blog, not a damage control app tester-outer. But at just 99 cents, we’re in.

The app is available for iPhone, iPad and iPod touch. Read more on the official site.

We just report it.

Note to self.

Just another day at the Palace. Caesars Palace, that is.

We're thinking you could have guessed that all on your own.

That’s just one of the reasons this iconic Vegas hotel’s Facebook page has been “Liked” by close to 130,000 die-hard fans. Follow Caesars Palace on Twitter, too.

Everybody comes to Las Vegas! On June 23, we caught up with pro race car driver Dale Earnhardt, Jr. at Pole Position, an indoor karting track just off the Las Vegas Strip.

Dale Earnhardt, Jr. chats with fans in Sin City.

Earnhart stopped in Vegas for a meet-and-greet with Total Rewards loyalty club members, an event organized by Caesars Entertainment. Find out more about Total Rewards.

Earnhart will soon be seen racing in the 2011 Sprint Cup Series at Infineon Raceway in Sonoma, California.

Trust us, these aren't toys. They move!

You might want to add kart racing to your list of things to do in Las Vegas. Check out Pole Position’s official site.

“This is one of the ways we show our loyal customers how much we appreciate them,” said Nicholas Christiano, Citywide Special Events Manager for Caesars Entertainment. “Dale was nice enough to sign autographs and give our guests a run for their money on the track. For race fans, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and we were happy to put it together for our guests.”

A little smaller than Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s used to, we suspect.

The popular driver did a Q&A, then guests got to go head-to-head with Earnhardt on the track. From what we could see, Earnhardt didn’t get the memo about taking it easy on the novices! Apparently, one can’t turn off the need for speed.

On July 30, 2011, “Jubilee!” at Bally’s Las Vegas will celebrate its 30th anniversary as well as securing its place as the longest-running show on the Las Vegas Strip.

“Jubilee!” is the last production show of its kind, and the “retro-glam” production is considered a must-see for Las Vegas visitors from around the world.

In honor of the 30-year anniversary, one of the show’s original costume designers, Pete Menefee, was asked to create new frocks for the “Jubilee!” number featuring the sinking of the Titanic. We dropped by Bally’s during a costume fitting and the legendary designer shared some insights about the new costumes as well as the history and longevity of “Jubilee!”

One of our favorite revelations: Parts of the costumes use material from industrial water purifiers to increase their durability. The costumes in “Jubilee!” are definitely built to last.

“Jubilee!” was staged and directed by the legendary Donn Arden, and more than 18 million people seen the lavish show at Bally’s.

More “Jubilee!” facts? You got it. There are 85 dancers in the show, and showgirls must be at least 5’8″ tall, while the men have to be six feet or taller. Over 30 years, the show has featured more than a thousand dancers.

Pete Menefee, the man behind many of the eye-popping costumes in "Jubilee!," and showgirls Sarah and Crystal.

The “Jubilee!” stage is an astonishing 190 feet long and 73 feet deep, making it half the size of a football field. Thank you, news release, for making us sound like we can do math.

The stage is 15 stories tall from the bottom of the orchestra pit to the roof. Just enough room for those gravity-defying hats!

“Jubilee! features a mind-boggling 100 sets and backdrops, 100,000 light bulbs and more than 125 miles of wiring. About 4,200 pounds of dry ice are used each week to create smoke effects, and 10 pounds of explosives are used nightly in the show’s 50 pyrotechnic effects.

More than 1,000 costumes are worn during the show, and it takes a crew of 18 people to keep the wardrobe in tip-top shape. Insider fact: Some of the feathers used in the costumes in “Jubilee!” are vulture feathers.

Thanks to Pete Menefee for taking the time to chat with us about this fascinating aspect of Las Vegas entertainment, and here’s to another 30 years of “Jubilee!” Vegas just wouldn’t be Vegas without it.

Fan favorites and Flamingo headliners Donny and Marie Osmond rubbed elbows with their fans at an album signing inside Flamingo Las Vegas on June 21.

Donny and Marie have this down pat at this point.

The sibling duo’s new album, aptly titled “Donny & Marie,” is their first studio album in three decades. Get it here.

Donny and Marie recently celebrated their 500th show at the Flamingo, and the iconic pair show no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Especially if their legions of enthusiastic fans have anything to say about it! Yeah, enthusiastic is probably an understatement.

Fact: Donny Osmond made his TV debut at the age of five. He sang, "You Are My Sunshine."

Donny and Marie’s album features songs written by Richie Sambora (of Bon Jovi), Carole King and Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Carole Bayer Sager, David Foster, Jeremy Lubbock, Richard Marx, Frank Myers, Gary Baker, Susan Longacre and Walt Aldridge and includes performances by Richie Sambora and Gavin DeGraw.

Fact: Marie Osmond's very first single, "Paper Roses," was a number one country hit in 1973.

Catch Donny & Marie, easily one of the most entertaining (bonus: hilarious) shows on the Las Vegas Strip, at 7:30 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday.

Tickets are available at the Flamingo Box Office, by phone at (702) 733-3333 or (800) 221-7299 or by visiting the official Flamingo site.

A new show was recently revealed (let the magic-themed puns begin!) at Paris Las Vegas, The Magic of Paris. This blog is about to hook you up with 50%-off tickets, too. Nice, tease, huh?

The show features sleight-of-hand artist Stephane Vanel, a former runway model for Armani and a featured performer for seven years in MGM Grand’s “Crazy Horse Paris” show.

Stephane shows off his pearly whites for his fans! (OK, last magic pun.)

Vanel’s European-inspired variety show at Paris Las Vegas also boasts several saucy dance numbers and marionette puppeteer Anthony Rais, a longtime fixture on the Strip.

We dropped in on Stephane Vanel to get an exclusive preview of his show.

Vanel exhibits his digital mastery of classic sleight-of-hand tools of the trade, including cards, coins and billiard balls, during the fast-paced show.

Bonus multimedia: The unassuming magician was was recently interviewed on KNPR. Take a listen.

During the interview, Vanel mentions his favorite illusion involves making a card disappear, then reappear in his mouth. Oh, yeah, we caught that.

Voila! Yeah, that's about the extent of our French. Sorry.

“The Magic of Paris” runs Tuesday through Sunday, dark on Mondays, in the Anthony Cools Experience Showroom at Paris.

There are two shows daily at 4:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. Tickets are $30 general admission and $45 VIP.

Told you it had saucy parts.

However, because we love to save you some bucks when you’re in Vegas, you can now get half-off tickets if you use a super-secret discount code when you make your purchase: STEPHANE. This deal is good through Jul. 3.

Tickets can be purchased at the Paris box office, by calling (877) 374-7469 or by visiting the official Paris Las Vegas site.

Oh, yeah. You’re a Las Vegas regular. A true Vegas fanatic. We’re with you on that. However, from time to time, we have to put your def Vegas skillz to the test. Just how def are they? And we don’t mean “def” ironically, either. Probably.

Ready? Set? Skilz! Where in Las Vegas was this photo taken?

In Vegas, even the statues party hard.

Be as specific as possible in your guess, please, or your entry will be invalidated by our panel of judges, which we just made up.

Post your comment in the Comments section for bragging rights.