Oh, it’s bound to happen. Zombie invasion! When the zombie outbreak happens, and you’re in Las Vegas, do you have a plan? Never fear, the Pulse of Vegas blog is here.
We’ve thought long and hard about this, and we’ve found the perfect place to weather the zombie apocalypse: Rio Las Vegas. Time is of the essence, so let’s bite into this sticky subject, hard.
Choose Your Location Wisely
There are lots of reasons to choose Rio Las Vegas when the zombies attack, but location is key. When the zombies begin their quest for brains, you do not want to be caught on the Strip! The Strip can get crowded, and it’s sure to be a Buffet of Buffets for the zombies. The Rio affords all the benefits of holing up in a world-class hotel, just far enough from the Strip to provide a comforting safety buffer.
Find the Best Vantage Point
Aside from its perfect location, the height of the Rio means you’ll have a bird’s-eye view of the Strip and surrounding landscape from which you can observe, and potentially pick off, the advancing undead hoardes.
Click here to get a killer view of the Strip from atop Rio Vegas.
Note: News stories about the Rio Las Vegas claim it is 51 stories tall, but it’s not. (Floors numbered in the 40s are skipped due to superstition, etc.) Still, it’s plenty tall, and the VooDoo Lounge gives the best view of Las Vegas, which you’ll appreciate when the zombies are done chowing down on denizens of the Strip. Ironically, voodoo is said to account for real-life zombies. Ah, the circularity of the universe.
Weapon Up, Bucko
Most people will be scrambling for firearms when the chompfest begins, but if “The Walking Dead” has taught us anything, it’s that guns make loud noises, and that just attracts more zombies. Therefore, silent weapons make for the best zombie killers. The Rio has you covered! We wandered into a store at Rio the other night called Fortune Cookie, and it turned out to be a zombie eradication wonderland.
Our favorite find at the Fortune Cookie store? Hey, if you’re going to fight zombies in Vegas, do it with some Sin City flair. Throwing cards!
We are not making this up.
They’re like ninja throwing stars, but resemble playing cards. They come in a set of five (a royal flush, no less), and are made from stainless steel with a sharp, beveled edge, perfect for taking down zombies. At $30, we had to snag these babies. You know, for zombie research purposes.
Speaking of throwing cards, the Rio is home to the World Series of Poker. What, you thought we were kidding about that “circularity of the universe” thing?
Surround Yourself With Ass-Kickers
Anyone who’s watched a zombie movie or TV show, or played a zombie videogame (“Left 4 Dead,” anyone?), knows that your companions during a zombie outbreak are critical to your survival. The Rio’s all over it. First, stop by Martorano’s Italian Restaurant to pick up Steve Martorano. He might be a softy at heart, but we suspect this brawny chef would be the single best person to know during a zombie attack.
Rio is also home to some gargantuan zombie slayers who also moonlight as male revue performers, the Chippendales. When it’s time to crack some zombie skulls, these are the guys we want on our team.
Make Sure You Have Enough Provisions
The zombie outbreak won’t end over night, so you’ll need to make your stand where the provisions are plentiful. Look no further than the Carnival World Buffet. There’s enough food at this buffet to feed a small country. The buffet is a staggering 100 yards long, and serves up 1,250 eggs each day, as well as 1,200 pounds of crab legs, among other tasty items. The Rio’s other restaurants also keep a seemingly endless supply of food on hand, so you and your crew should be well-supplied for the long haul.
Keep Your Spirits Up
Waiting out a zombie apocalypse is likely to involve moments of sheer terror mixed with hours, and even days, of mind-numbing boredom. Just another reason to pick the Rio for all your zombie needs: Bevertainers! These multi-talented folks, assuming they haven’t “turned” yet, can provide endless hours of dancing, singing and, yes, beverage service.
Yes, bevertainers sing, too. We did not know that. Read more about the Rio’s bevertainers.
So, with that, you should be all set for a Las Vegas zombie invasion. It’s all about the Rio Las Vegas, baby.
When the zombie outbreak comes, to keep your brain, you’ve got to use your brain. And, remember, when zombies are in hot pursuit, you don’t have to run the fastest, you just have run faster than the person behind you.