Oh, it’s bound to happen. Zombie invasion! When the zombie outbreak happens, and you’re in Las Vegas, do you have a plan? Never fear, the Pulse of Vegas blog is here.

We’ve thought long and hard about this, and we’ve found the perfect place to weather the zombie apocalypse: Rio Las Vegas. Time is of the essence, so let’s bite into this sticky subject, hard.

Somebody needs a vacation.

Choose Your Location Wisely

There are lots of reasons to choose Rio Las Vegas when the zombies attack, but location is key. When the zombies begin their quest for brains, you do not want to be caught on the Strip! The Strip can get crowded, and it’s sure to be a Buffet of Buffets for the zombies. The Rio affords all the benefits of holing up in a world-class hotel, just far enough from the Strip to provide a comforting safety buffer.

Find the Best Vantage Point

Aside from its perfect location, the height of the Rio means you’ll have a bird’s-eye view of the Strip and surrounding landscape from which you can observe, and potentially pick off, the advancing undead hoardes.

The Las Vegas Strip, pre-invasion.

Click here to get a killer view of the Strip from atop Rio Vegas.

Note: News stories about the Rio Las Vegas claim it is 51 stories tall, but it’s not. (Floors numbered in the 40s are skipped due to superstition, etc.) Still, it’s plenty tall, and the VooDoo Lounge gives the best view of Las Vegas, which you’ll appreciate when the zombies are done chowing down on denizens of the Strip. Ironically, voodoo is said to account for real-life zombies. Ah, the circularity of the universe.

Weapon Up, Bucko

Most people will be scrambling for firearms when the chompfest begins, but if “The Walking Dead” has taught us anything, it’s that guns make loud noises, and that just attracts more zombies. Therefore, silent weapons make for the best zombie killers. The Rio has you covered! We wandered into a store at Rio the other night called Fortune Cookie, and it turned out to be a zombie eradication wonderland.

We are not kidding.

Our favorite find at the Fortune Cookie store? Hey, if you’re going to fight zombies in Vegas, do it with some Sin City flair. Throwing cards!

Women: "Whuh?" Men: "Awesome!"

We are not making this up.

They’re like ninja throwing stars, but resemble playing cards. They come in a set of five (a royal flush, no less), and are made from stainless steel with a sharp, beveled edge, perfect for taking down zombies. At $30, we had to snag these babies. You know, for zombie research purposes.

"Phwack!" Good night, zombie.

Speaking of throwing cards, the Rio is home to the World Series of Poker. What, you thought we were kidding about that “circularity of the universe” thing?

Surround Yourself With Ass-Kickers

Anyone who’s watched a zombie movie or TV show, or played a zombie videogame (“Left 4 Dead,” anyone?), knows that your companions during a zombie outbreak are critical to your survival. The Rio’s all over it. First, stop by Martorano’s Italian Restaurant to pick up Steve Martorano. He might be a softy at heart, but we suspect this brawny chef would be the single best person to know during a zombie attack.

Steve Martorano's meatballs are killer, too, by the way.

Rio is also home to some gargantuan zombie slayers who also moonlight as male revue performers, the Chippendales. When it’s time to crack some zombie skulls, these are the guys we want on our team.

Say "hello" to Lind, Schooler of Zombies.

Make Sure You Have Enough Provisions

The zombie outbreak won’t end over night, so you’ll need to make your stand where the provisions are plentiful. Look no further than the Carnival World Buffet. There’s enough food at this buffet to feed a small country. The buffet is a staggering 100 yards long, and serves up 1,250 eggs each day, as well as 1,200 pounds of crab legs, among other tasty items. The Rio’s other restaurants also keep a seemingly endless supply of food on hand, so you and your crew should be well-supplied for the long haul.

When zombies are upon you, if your food can double as a weapon, all the better.

Keep Your Spirits Up

Waiting out a zombie apocalypse is likely to involve moments of sheer terror mixed with hours, and even days, of mind-numbing boredom. Just another reason to pick the Rio for all your zombie needs: Bevertainers! These multi-talented folks, assuming they haven’t “turned” yet, can provide endless hours of dancing, singing and, yes, beverage service.

Favorite zombie song, "I've Got You Under My Skin."

Yes, bevertainers sing, too. We did not know that. Read more about the Rio’s bevertainers.

So, with that, you should be all set for a Las Vegas zombie invasion. It’s all about the Rio Las Vegas, baby.

When the zombie outbreak comes, to keep your brain, you’ve got to use your brain. And, remember, when zombies are in hot pursuit, you don’t have to run the fastest, you just have run faster than the person behind you.

This blog honestly has no clue who Gretchen Rossi is. But we thought the photo below, from an appearance over the weekend, was very flattering, so we’re sharing it.

We also thought the photo seemed vaguely related to Halloween. So, happy Halloween!

We assume Gretch Rossi is a very nice person.

We now realize this photo also provides a great excuse to plug the Pussycat Dolls Burlesque Saloon at Planet Hollywood.

This blog loves it some craps, the most exciting game in any casino! Today’s useless casino trivia involves those covers that go over the chips when a table isn’t in use (see below).

Impress friends and loved ones by knowing this see-through cover is called a “lid” in the casino biz.

You are such a Vegas insider with your fancy craps jargon.

See you at the craps table!

Just as the real Rod Stewart breezes back into Caesars Palace for the second year of his successful Las Vegas residency (starting Nov. 3, 2011), we discover a new addition to the dealertainer (dealers who sing, or the other way around) line-up at Imperial Palace!

It’s Vic taking on the persona of, wait for it, Rod Stewart. Imagine that!

Vic, tonight's the night. For, you know, dealing blackjack and singing and stuff.

Check out all our featured dealertainers at the IP, because otherwise you’ll be stuck having to “interact with your family” or “accomplish something” or “be a productive member of society,” and nobody wants to see that.

And this blog’s award for “Most Delicious Las Vegas Halloween Freak-Outs” goes to…Evening Call at Rio Las Vegas.

For its small size, Evening Call, a favorite hang-out for daiquiri-lovers at Rio Las Vegas, packs a big Halloween punch. Decked out in traditional Halloween decorations (spider webs, tombstones, life-size dead dude holding a daiquiri, you know, the usual), somebody at Evening Call is definitely into this particular holiday, as illustrated below.

Thanks, Evening Call, for our first freak-out.

Customers can enjoy frosty beverages, or frozen yogurt from the adjoining Yogo Loco, while being startled by prankish employees who lower spiders onto unsuspecting shoulders via virtually invisible wires, which nearly gave us heart failure, to be honest.

No tip for you.

Evening Call also boasts these weird portraits that shape-shift (as you walk by them) that kind of gave us the willies. Here’s another one.

Now you know why we needed a daiquiri.

There’s a reason the word “Aieee!” was invented, you know.

The Halloween spirit has definitely landed on Las Vegas.

Even the undead know how to party in Vegas.

Check out our post about 2011 Halloween Parties and Costumes in Vegas, and stop by Evening Call at Rio for some frightfully-good daiquiris, as well as a Victorian-era guy who morphs into a horned demon of some sort.

Just another Halloween in Las Vegas!

Just when we think we know everything about Las Vegas, we get to think again.

So, you’ve stayed in a Las Vegas hotel before, right? You go into your room, into the restroom, perhaps, and yay, there are complimentary facial tissues! (Just play along.)

These tissues are usually set into a counter or wall. So, here’s the thing. How would someone know when the tissue supply is getting low? The housekeeping staff is already busy cleaning up after you, so what’s the secret for knowing when it’s time to give you a fresh box of tissues? Here’s the answer!

Las Vegas, is there anything you can't do?

That’s right. Facial tissues in Las Vegas hotels are, for the most part, white. But when there are just a few more tissues left in the box, the tissue color changes.

This elegant solution, to a dilemma you may never have known existed, makes it easy for housekeeping to know when a tissue box needs to be swapped out. Now you know!

This sweet Las Vegas scoop is sure to make you more popular at dinner parties. You’re welcome.

Gotta love this new tongue-in-cheek commercial for the Country Music Association (CMA) Awards, featuring Flamingo Las Vegas headliners Donny and Marie Osmond.

The talented brother-sister duo give the real-world CMA hosts, Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood, a run for their money. Mickey and Minnie appear to be a tad nervous, too.

"Game over!" is right.

Catch the CMA Awards on Nov. 9, 2011, and see Donny & Marie live at Flamingo Vegas.

In the pantheon of “made-up occasions to market Las Vegas stuff,” this one’s actually pretty fantastic. A cavalcade of shows in the Caesars Entertainment family of Las Vegas hotels will offer $11.11 tickets in honor of the upcoming numerically-repetitive date: 11/11/11.

On Nov. 11, 2011, it’ll be a one-time chance to grab deeply-discounted tickets to the shows below.

At Flamingo, see Vinnie Favorito, Nathan Burton or “X Burlesque.”

Fact: At $11.11, the cost of "X Burlesque" is roughly half of a Las Vegas lap dance.

Inside Harrah’s Vegas, get $11.11 tickets to The Improv, “Legends in Concert,” “Defending the Caveman” and “The Mac King Comedy Magic Show.” The Mac King show is already one of the best entertainment values on the Strip, so this ticket offer makes it even bester.

Fact: Mac King for $11.11? That's hot.

Fans of the Chippendales at Rio will also be pleased to hear the $11.11 offer applies to this ripply-abbed fleshtravaganza (probably not a real word).

Fact: $11.11 equates to one penny for every swoon from our co-workers that have been inspired by this Chippendales dancer.

Over at O’Sheas, see Dirk Arthur and his “Wild Magic” cats for $11.11.

The ticket offer also applies to Anthony Cools at Paris, as well as “Magic of Paris.”

The $11.11 tickets must be purchased in person at the various hotel box offices on Friday, Nov. 11 only. Tickets are based on availability and restrictions apply, as well as other fine print we did not have time to read because we were busy winning $29.41 at video poker at the Imperial Palace, tax free, thank you.

Find out more about the shows and showtimes participating in this 11/11/11 deal right here.

Frank Marino, star of “Divas Las Vegas,” goes through an astonishing transformation every time he performs at Imperial Palace.

Thanks to the technological miracle that is this blog’s rudimentary knowledge of animated gifs, here’s a rare glimpse into just how dramatic the popular female-impersonator’s nightly transformation really is!

Just another day at the Vegas magic factory.

Marino and his talented cast recently celebrated their second anniversary at the Imperial Palace (on Oct. 17, 2011), but Marino has been a Strip headliner for a record-breaking 26 years. Read our wildly inadequate coverage of Marino’s 25th anniversary on the Strip.

During our recent photo shoot with Marino, capturing him before and after his dramatic metamorphosis, he noted, tellingly, “I’m much more comfortable in character than as me.” We’re 41% sure he meant that comment off-the-record, but we are a Las Vegas blog. Nothing’s off the record.

Working it.

Frank Marino will soon be making a splash with an appearance on Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker on Nov. 8, 2011. Marino goes head-to-head with the show’s colorful host, Patti Stanger.

Learn more about “Divas Las Vegas” at Imperial Palace, a show this blog enjoyed a lot, thanks in large part to Frank Marino’s ever-changing material and razor-sharp wit. In fact, we named “Divas” one of the Funniest Shows in Las Vegas.

This sign resides outside Frank Marino's dressing room at the IP.

Bonus Frank Marino trivia: He’s performed more than 20,000 shows on the Las Vegas Strip, attended by more than 10 million people.

Marino is also the only Las Vegas celebrity to have two stars on the Las Vegas Walk of Stars. Take a look.

Flamingo headliner Marie Osmond has a lot of irons in the fire, but one of her most successful endeavors is her line of dolls.

The performer is celebrating the 20th anniversary of her signature doll collection with a public appearance at Flamingo Las Vegas on Oct. 29, 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.

Marie and her "Mini-Me."

Fans will get the chance to have their Marie Osmond dolls signed, and the gathering will also feature raffles and giveaways. Guests with doll purchases of $100 or more will receive a special gift.

The celebrity schmoozefest will take place at the Flamingo’s Promenade Gift Store. Just look for the legions of doll-crazed fans!

Teller, one half of the infamous “Penn & Teller” show at Rio Las Vegas, is set to be a guest on one of this blog’s favorite TV shows, “Tosh.0.”

We got our hands on a behind-the-scenes photo of Teller goofing off with funnyman Daniel Tosh at the taping.

This blog is experiencing a little comedy-magic heaven right about now.

“Tosh.0″ features videos from the Internet with snarky comments from host Daniel Tosh. You probably don’t have to be a neurosurgeon to get why this show is one of our favorites!

The epidode featuring Teller’s appearance will air on Oct. 25 on Comedy Central. Check your local blah-blah for times blah-blah in your neck of the blah-blah. We are a Las Vegas blog, not a TV schedule looker-upper. You’ll figure it out.

A little downtown Las Vegas neon sign action.

Love, Vegas-style.

If you love neon as much as we do, read our story about how neon signs are made.

Just because we have no idea what language these guys are speaking doesn’t mean we can’t share this video. We think it might be sports-related.

We do know one of these guys, Todd Fuhrman, is the Senior Race and Sports Book Analyst for Caesars Palace.

Todd's the one on the left who keeps saying, "When the worm turns."

Our second favorite phrase from this video: “Fluctuating their unit size.”

See? There. We blog about sports sometimes. Probably.

After a brief hiatus (a Latin word meaning, “Where the hell have you been?”), the much-lauded, adults-only carnival Absinthe has returned to Caesars Palace.

We missed being able to laud about you, "Absinthe."

As of today (Oct. 21, 2011), the heart-stopping show resumes its schedule (Tue., Thu., Fri. and Sat. at 8:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.; Wed. and Sun. at 8:00 p.m. only, dark Mon.), along with a new tent and a slickly-produced promotional video.

This blog isn’t generally a fan of anything slickly-produced (we prefer “shaky” and “amateurish”), but it’s “Absinthe,” so the usual rules don’t apply.

Take a look at our incredibly superficial review of “Absinthe,” a Vegas word-of-mouth sensation if ever there were one.

Like Cirque, but with more dirty jokes and without the creepy clowns.

Find out more about this irreverent (vulgar), hilarious (vulgar) and mind-blowing (no, really, it’s not just vulgar) show at Caesars Palace. You’ve simply never seen anything like “Absinthe.”

Caesars Entertainment and its expansive roster of Las Vegas hotels are pulling out all the stops on Veterans Day, including free 24-hour, unlimited-access Buffet of Buffet passes for active members and veterans of the armed services.

Veterans Day is Nov. 11, 2011, and to honor those who serve, the popular Buffet of Buffet pass will be available to those who present their government-issued military identification cards at any of seven participating buffets, including Lago Buffet at Caesars Palace, Le Village Buffet at Paris, Spice Market Buffet at Planet Hollywood and the larger-than-life Carnival World Buffet at Rio Vegas.

Check out the full list of participating Buffet of Buffets pass locations.

This is not a stock photography model, he's an actual acquaintance of ours.

Those same military ID cards can be used for a variety of show discounts up and down the Strip at Caesars Entertainment hotels, many year-round.

For current and former members of the military, “Jubilee!” at Bally’s has a 2-for-1 ticket offer, as do comedian Vinnie Favorito at Flamingo, “Legends in Concert” at Harrah’s and Anthony Cools at Paris Vegas.

Half-price ticket offers for military members include “Human Nature,” “Frank Marino’s Divas Las Vegas” and “Name That Tune Live” at Imperial Palace. “X Burlesque,” at Flamingo, offers $10 dollars off tickets. “Chippendales” at Rio also has an ongoing military discount.

Great. Now, we're getting all weepy and stuff.

It should also be noted all Caesars Entertainment Las Vegas resorts offer a government rate of $93 per night to federal, military or U.S. State employees with I.D. (based on availability). There’s probably some small print involved here, but we are a Las Vegas blog, not a small print reader-overer.

On a related note, visiting military member might also want to stop by the Caesars Entertainment-supported USO Las Vegas center at McCarran International Airport. It’s pretty sweet.

A big salute goes out to all our armed services members and veterans, several of whom are in this blog’s own family. Enjoy your free buffets! Hey, the serious job of fighting for freedom requires some serious fuel, baby.