The Empire Comedy show has closed up shop at the Napoleon Lounge inside Paris Las Vegas.

Sad, lonely microphone we manipulated extensively in Photoshop.

No word yet on when, where or if Empire Comedy, which featured a revolving slate of comedians, might turn up again.

The good news is that stand-up abounds on the Las Vegas Strip, so there’s no shortage of chortles.

If you’re looking for a comedy fix, check out George Wallace or Vinnie Favorito at Flamingo Las Vegas, or the always talent-packed line-up at The Improv at Harrah’s Las Vegas.

Cabo Wabo Cantina at Planet Hollywood also hosts comics in its upstairs, interestingly-named (given it’s in Las Vegas) L.A. Comedy Club. Find out more.

Also, keep an eye out for the re-opening of Sin City Comedy which recently relocated from The V Theater in The Miracle Mile Shops at Planet Hollywood to a new location across from the “Peepshow” theater on Planet Hollywood’s mezzanine level. There will be a quiz. Check on their progress on Facebook.

The first thing you notice when you step inside Carlos’n Charlie’s restaurant at Flamingo Las Vegas is all the smiles. That’s because this lively spot prides itself on creating a party atmosphere, augmented with frosty beverages, visitors won’t soon forget.

This blog loves the quirky, self-deprecating humor the restaurant uses in its signage and ads, so we were inspired to create some phoney Carlos’n Charlie’s coupons.

Just because we made this doesn't mean we condone it.

We’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t actually tell our friends at Carlos’n Charlie’s we made these coupons, because we didn’t get their approval to do so, per se. This blog doesn’t live by society’s rules.

This one could totally catch on in Las Vegas.

If you try to redeem one of these coupons at the restaurant, don’t look at us if they call security.

This would have been hysterical three weeks ago.

Read more about this offbeat dining and nightlife offering at Flamingo Las Vegas.

They'd totally make good on this one.

And last but not least.

Yes, this is what we do all day. Everyone needs a hobby.

See you on the patio at Carlos’n Charlies! Unless we’re banned for forging fake coupons. The things we do to entertain you.

Today’s free Las Vegas meal idea comes from our friends at Carlo’n Charlie’s restaurant at Flamingo.

Just because we don't condone it doesn't mean we won't share it.

Learn more about this irreverent restaurant on the official Flamingo Las Vegas site, or find them on Facebook.

You never know who’s going to turn up in Las Vegas.

This weekend (Aug. 26, 2012), Flamingo Las Vegas magician Nathan Burton got some special guests at his show, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Everybody comes to Vegas.

Want to know this blog’s favorite part of the photo, other than the Catherine Zeta-Jones part, of course? Nathan Burton’s classy “Don’t grope the Hollywood star” floating hand move. Chivalry is not dead!

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones brought along their children, Dylan (12) and Carys (9), to the kid-friendly show. Dylan was even invited by Nathan Burton to get up on stage to take part in a comedy bit.

Douglas is in town filming “Behind the Candelabra,” a movie about Liberace, for HBO. The movie also stars Matt Damon. Read more.

Catherine Zeta-Jones starred in “Entrapment.” She was probably also in other movies, too, but for some reason “Entrapment” comes to mind. To the exclusion of every other movie in history. But maybe that’s just this blog. Moving on.

This just in: We don’t know anything about this, but it appears to be a way to see Nathan Burton free of charge.

You can catch Nathan Burton, “Magician to the Stars” (we just made that up), at Flamingo Las Vegas.

This blog loves it some classic Las Vegas!

Here’s a charming look at Sin City in 1956, narrated by Ray Lindstrom who shot the 8mm footage featuring some iconic Vegas hotels like the El Rancho, Flamingo, Sands, Silver Slipper, Desert Inn, Thunderbird and Sahara.

Many of the landmarks shot in the video are gone, but some, like Flamingo Las Vegas, are still going strong.

You can even see the Silver Slipper’s slipper, just north of downtown Las Vegas, restored for posterity by the Neon Boneyard Park and Museum.

Here's the famed Silver Slipper sign before it was restored.

Vegas has such a colorful history, and we love every grainy, jittery frame of it.

Center Cut at Flamingo Las Vegas might not have a celebrity chef’s name on its sign (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but each night, the restaurant serves up hearty fare in a lively atmosphere, completely free of anything even remotely stodgy or pretentious.

Even the menu is unpretentious if you ask us.

At Center Cut, every meal begins with some fresh bread, of course. Or a cocktail. If you don’t know which photo we’re going to share first, you haven’t been following this blog very long.

It's the signature "Pink in the Center" cocktail. See all the immature jokes we're not making?

The Pink in the Center cocktail features X-Rated Fusion liqueur (yes, there’s a liqueur named “X-Rated Fusion”) and Chandon Brut sparkling wine.

Now, the bread part.

In a pretentious restaurant, you're not supposed to fill up on bread. At Center Cut, they don't judge.

If you like salads, you might try the Caesar salad. It kind of doesn’t look like other Caesar salads, but you’ll survive. All the ingredients are there (Romaine lettuce, tangy Caesar dressing, homemade croutons, shaved Parmesan cheese), just prettier.

You don't have to eat the fishy thing wrapped around the tomato. At Center Cut, no one is the boss of you.

Center Cut is all over the appetizers, of course, including the Lime Poached Shrimp Cocktail. Typically, this blog doesn’t condone poaching, but in this case, we’re cool with it.

They don't put "Shrimp As Big As Your Face" on the menu, but maybe they should.

If you enjoy straddling the world of surf and turf, you may take a stab at the, well, Surf & Turf. This blog is more turf than surf, but that doesn’t mean we won’t take a photo of someone else’s Surf & Turf, despite not knowing what to make of it, entirely.

Six ounce filet mignon and half a cold lobster tail, choice of two sauces.

Although his blog prefers its filet mignon sans surf, you’re still probably an OK person if you opt for something else on the menu.

Bonus: All the steaks are free of hormones and steroids.

We never really had a puffy, pastry thing with our steak until Center Cut Steakhouse, now we're fans. These pop-overs are made with souffle dough.

Sides include things like lobster mac and cheese, organic wild mushroom, grilled asparagus, organic pink mashed potatoes, potato gratin and Steakhouse Fries.

For dessert (yeah, like you’ve left enough room for dessert), check the “Delights” section of the menu. We’ll go for the Coffee Toffee Crunch, with a side of fancy (yet still unpretentious) cookies.

Emphasis on the cookies.

Take a look at the full Center Cut Steakhouse menu (.pdf format) through the miracle of the Interwebs.

Just the right proportion of classy and "you won't get stares if you and your friends laugh out loud at something witty your waiter said."

See if you don’t agree Center Cut Steakhouse is a laid-back restaurant that hits all the right notes, without people constantly trying to put your napkin back on your lap. We can handle our own napkin, thanks.

It was a photo op that spawned a thousand laughs as comedy greats Brad Garrett (“Everybody Loves Raymond”) and Kevin Nealon (everything else) dropped in on Donny and Marie Osmond after their show at Flamingo Las Vegas on July 6, 2012.

Fact: This photo contains 81% more funny than the average photograph.

Thanks to our friends at Cashman Photo for the pic.

Donny and Marie can more than hold their own when it comes to comedy, as their show was named by this blog one of the funniest in Las Vegas. Note: There’s some singing and dancing, too.

Catch Donny & Marie live at Flamingo.

Today’s hooch is brought to you by the fun-loving folks at Carlos’n Charlie’s at Flamingo Las Vegas. How does this blog know they’re fun-loving? Because we’ve personally had fun there.

Between 10:00 p.m. and midnight, Carlos’n Charlie’s offers $3 shots of El Jimador tequila. “El Jimador,” of course, is Spanish for, “How did I end up in this fountain?”

We vaguely remember these being delicious. And cheap.

This seems like a great time to also mention that food is available at Carlos’n Charlie’s. We feel compelled to impart this news by sharing a photo of a beauty pageant contestant eating it.

Any Miss USA contestant that will let us photograph her eating will always be our favorite.

Oh, all right. They were all our favorites.

Are we still talking about a deal on tequila?

We especially like that Carlos’n Charlie’s markets its $3 tequila deal with a flyer that says, “Our tequilas improve the looks of the people around you.” From the photos above, this is clearly truth in advertising!

Find Carlos’n Charlie’s on Facebook and Twitter for more tequila deals and photos of attractive people.

What’s better than a Vegas cocktail? How about two for the price of one? How about blog posts that don’t start with questions? Are we ready to move on yet?

The Center Cut Steakhouse at Flamingo Las Vegas has launched a new happy hour, but since it goes from noon to midnight, calling it a happy “hour” is like calling the Sahara desert a sandbox. Or something. If you don’t like our similes, get your own Las Vegas blog.

The happy hour at Center Cut features two-for-one martinis (and wine), and being the investigative journalists we are, we had to sample the Cosmopolitan. Which we’re not entirely sure is a martini, per se, but we like how the photo turned out.

We are a blog, not a mixologist.

Center Cut’s Cosmopolitan contains “a number of ingredients we can’t recall, specifically.” Did we mention the 2-for-1 thing? There may have been Ketel One Citroen vodka involved. And if Grand Marnier is a thing, that was possibly another thing involved.

Center Cut Steakhouse also serves food. The details are a little foggy there, too. Thankfully, we blogged about it.

It's not called the Center Cut Shrimphouse, so there's probably also steak.

Find out more about Center Cut Steakhouse at Flamingo.

It’s hard to believe. Siblings Donny and Marie Osmond have been doing what they do for five decades.

If you wonder what keeps the magic alive, take a look at this amusing video of these two during an appearance on CNN Newsroom.

Their rapport, and good-natured rivalry, is truly one-of-a-kind, and it more than comes across during their show at Flamingo Las Vegas.

Osmond trivia: On average, Donny and Marie average 16.2 zingers per minute.

A little inside scoop: Donny and Marie just launched a Twitter giveaway where audience members can meet the talented pair after their show. First, follow Donny and Marie on Twitter. When you’re at the show, Tweet “I’m at the #donnyandmarieshow” before the show starts. Lucky guests could end up meeting Donny and Marie in person and having a brush with entertainment royalty. The full contest rules and wildly-entertaining legal terms reside here.

Thanks, Donny & Marie, for keeping our toes tapping and our sides aching for all these years.

Carlos’n Charlie’s restaurant at Flamingo Vegas might call this a “Traditional Sangria,” but it doesn’t look like any sangria we’ve ever seen.

Behold the stratified goodness.

In photography, it's called a "Dutch tilt." You're welcome.

This blog has gone to great lengths (we asked) to get you the recipe for this eye-popping cocktail. It’s a metaphor, by the way. No actual eye-popping is involved. That would be disgusting, and would probably deter customers from returning.

To make the Carlos’n Charlie’s Traditional Sangria, add lemon, lime and orange pieces to a glass with a half-ounce of simple syrup. Mottle. (Which we’re thinking is a fancy term for “smush up.”) Add ice and an ounce of orange juice. Float 1.5 ounces of merlot, top with Sierra Mist. Add orange as a garnish.

The secret to the layered colors, of course, is the floating, usually done with the aid of a barspoon. A fluid floats on another fluid when its “specific gravity” is less then the fluid it’s floating on. What, you thought bartending was just pouring stuff into glasses?

Watch this guy with a foreign accent explain it. Note: He also does a fair job of mottling.

Now, you know.

In Vegas, one of the most exciting things you can see is a construction wall. Why? Because when a door closes in Sin City, a window almost always opens. Or something.

The Promenade Gift Shop at Flamingo Las Vegas, former home of celebrity appearances and beaded flamingos, recently closed and grew one of these mysterious walls.

We tried to get a peek, but the door was locked. And we couldn't find a window.

In Vegas, that pretty much means there’s something new, better, bigger or just plain different in the works.

More news to come!

Here’s a cocktail that promises to whip that summer thirst into submission: It’s the mango margarita at Carlos’n Charlie’s restaurant (and, ahem, bar) at Flamingo Las Vegas.

Si, it's pretty, but it's what's on the inside that counts.

One of the secrets of this refreshing kick to the cojones (in a good way) is the mixture of spices on its rim. The star is Tajin spice, from Veracruz, Mexico. It’s an attention-grabbing blend of chile peppers, lime and salt. As if your cojones being on the receiving end of a kick weren’t attention-grabbing enough.

This is the part where we beg you to hold us back.

Bonus mango trivia: A mango is a fleshy stone fruit belonging to the genus Mangifera. Which this blog knew off the top of its head.

See you at Carlos’n Charlie’s at Flamingo. Your treat.

It’s been weeks of Las Vegas public appearances and poolside pulchritudinousness for the 51 Miss USA contestants, but last night (June 3, 2012) at Planet Hollywood, Miss Rhode Island prevailed to become Miss USA 2012.

Based upon our very scientific methodology (taking photos and chatting with her briefly, poolside), this blog predicts Olivia Culpo will become Miss Universe during a lavish ceremony, also at Planet Hollywood, on Dec. 19, 2012. Unlike the Amazing Kreskin, we are not going to seal this prediction in an envelope or safe, but rather, we’re putting in on the Internet for the world to see, and later review, when we’re right. Which we will be. Because we are a Las Vegas beauty pageant expert.

We took note of Miss Rhode Island's sass during a welcome ceremony at Planet Hollywood on May 23.

The new Miss USA, Olivia Culpo, is a talented cellist.

She also knows how to work a hat. And a sash. And a swimsuit.

Catching some rays at Flamingo Las Vegas.

The Miss USA contest reached a fever pitch as it came down to the final five: Nevada, Maryland, Ohio, Georgia and, of course, Rhode Island. Whatever a “fever pitch” might actually be.

Thanks, Miss USA 2012, for letting this blog get all up in your grill.

Most pageant pundits (yes, there are pageant pundits) agree Miss Rhode Island cinched the crown in the Q&A portion of the event. She fielded a question from a Twitter fan: “Would you feel it would be fair that a transgender woman wins the Miss USA title over a natural-born woman?” No pressure!

Culpo handled the question with aplomb, however, saying, “I do think that that would be fair, but I can understand that people would be a little apprehensive to take that road because there is a tradition of natural-born women, but today where there are so many surgeries and so many people out there who have a need to change for a happier life, I do accept that because I believe it’s a free country.”

This blog doesn't do a lot of things well, but we do have a scary eye for talent.

In other results, Nana Meriwether (Miss Maryland) took first runner-up, and second runner-up was Miss Ohio, Audrey Bolte.

However, in more pressing news, we took the photo below of the new Miss USA at the Flamingo Las Vegas pool.

Useless fact you're not going to read, anyway: The official state name of Rhode Island is "Rhode Island and Providence Plantations."

Thanks to all the amazing Miss USA contestants for making Las Vegas an even happier place during their Sin City exploits.

Miss Rhode Island flashes her winning smile.

Get all the Miss USA goodness on the official site.

Hey, you define “breaking news” your way, and we’ll define it our way.

As mandated by state law, Miss Nevada is always our favorite. So, sue us.

Fifty-one ridiculously-fit Miss USA 2012 contestants have been making a splash around Sin City leading up to their pageant on June 3 at Planet Hollywood. (The contest will be broadcast on NBC.)

Among their stops was a recent visit to the pool at Flamingo Las Vegas. This blog, in its never-ending quest to bring you gratuitous photos of the scantily-clad, dropped in on the contestants during their Flamingo frolic.

Who said we can only have one favorite, anyway?

The day’s list of activities included a game of volleyball, although we’re not entirely sure one activity constitutes a “list.” Yes, it’s arduous being a Miss USA contestant.

Sorry to invalidate your beliefs, atheists.

We learned a lot about being a beauty pageant contestant during our Flamingo visit. Specifically, about “butt glue.” This handy adhesive, rolled on like deodorant, is essential beauty queen equipment, apparently. During a pageant, “butt glue” keeps one’s bathing suit in place. Here’s the stuff in question.

Doesn't everyone look like this while they're hanging out at the pool?

According to our insider sources (pretty much Miss Oregon), “butt glue” got its start among gymnasts, because in competition, a leotard that creeps can result in docked points for the athlete. Who knew?

Please don't hate this blog just because our job is more fun than yours.

During our day at the pool, we also learned Miss USA contestants are friendly, charming, articulate and, for the most part, unaffected by the fact they’re, you know, beauty pageant contestants.

Miss Mississippi, Myverick Garcia, is nothing but trouble. And, yes, Myverick is her real name, inspired by a Louis L'Amour novel.

Our new friends at the pool also helped us dispel a popular myth: Pageant contestants don’t put Vaseline on their teeth as is widely believed. Apparently, it makes one’s teeth look funny.

Every day is like this in Las Vegas, promise.

We also got a crash course in fake eyelashes, gel pads, B-12 and “sticky boobs.” Don’t ask. We are a Las Vegas blog, not a bra engineering expert.

Like you're even reading these photo captions.

Overall, we highly recommend you spend some time at a pool with Miss USA contestants if at all possible. You’ll meet some amazing young women, and have one more thing scratched off your bucket list.

Visit the official Miss USA site for more goodness.

Thanks for playing along, Miss Rhode Island, even though this blog can't locate your state on a map.

Dive into more photos in our exclusive gallery, for which you’ll forever be in this blog’s debt.