Rita Rudner, the resident sass-generating machine at Harrah’s Las Vegas, has spent decades making us laugh, so we figured it was about time to compile our top 10 picks of her favorite funny quips.

1. “I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.”

2. “My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.”

A little Vegas Strip bling.

3. “We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. Well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet.”

4. “I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn’t mine.”

5. “I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.”

6. “Most turkeys taste better the day after. My mother’s tasted better the day before.”

7. “I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.”

8. “I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.”

9. “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”

10. “Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid.”

Catch one of the Las Vegas Strip’s most venerated comedy legends, Rita Rudner, live at Harrah’s. Learn more.

Brother Trouble, the country duo that won Kenny Chesney’s “Next Big Star” competition, are set to perform at Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill at Harrah’s Vegas, Mar. 15-16 (9:00 p.m.). Just another great free thing to do in Las Vegas!

Brothers Mark and Jason Sutton have performed together for more than a decade, winning over fans with music that fuses contemporary country and edgy rock.

He's a little bit country, and he's a little bit, well, country.

Since winning “Next Big Star” (like “American Idol,” but country-er), Brother Trouble has shared the stage with some of the biggest names in country music including Montgomery Gentry, Little Big Town, Little Texas and Travis Tritt.

Catch these good ol’ boys at Harrah’s on Mar. 15-16. And did we mention how free it is?

Here’s a down-and-dirty list of a few things to do at Harrah’s Las Vegas. Just a drop in the bucket!

NASCAR is all over Vegas, and we’ve got the pics to prove it! On Feb. 26, we caught up with cars and their drivers at several hotspots on the Strip.

Superstar NASCAR favorite Kurt Busch signed autographs and schmoozed with fans at Bally’s. Busch has something to crow about, as he “topped qualifying” at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway with a lap of 188.719 m.p.h. Read more.

Driver Kurt Busch with co-pilots Kim and Nina at Bally's.

Kurt Busch’s famed #2 car also made an appearance, outside Bally’s Las Vegas.

A racecar. Sponsored by a liquor company. What do we know about mixed messages? We're a blog.

Fans met Kurt Busch at the Indigo Lounge at Bally’s, and just outside the lounge was a car from the Richard Petty Driving Experience. The Driving Experience is a way for ordinary humans to get the thrills of pro racing. Learn more about this fun offering at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

No patrons were injured bringing this car into the casino. Thanks for caring.

The fun continued with another autograph session at Harrah’s in Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill. Drivers Jason Keller and David Gilliland won over fans with their broad smiles and racing stories.

Keller and Gilliland, and their, uh, pit crew, Kelly and Yvonne.

Elsewhere at Harrah’s, near the Carnaval Court Bar & Grill, the Crown Royal Ford Fusion show car drew a crowd of onlookers.

We attempted to fondle this gorgeous indigo-colored car, but security was pretty tight.

Get in on all the NASCAR fun as Vegas throws a NASCAR party only Sin City can. Find out more.

Get it? “Gears up”? It’s a car reference. Now this blog is an expert at: 1) Las Vegas, 2) NASCAR and 3) dumb puns involving NASCAR. That said, Vegas is revved for NASCAR, so read all about it.

There are tons of race-themed events around the city, including several at our famed Pulse of Vegas resorts: Bally’s, Planet Hollywood, Harrah’s and Flamingo. 

At Bally’s, there will be show car appearances and autograph signings Feb. 25 (11 a.m. – 3 p.m.), Feb. 26 (2 p.m. – 10 p.m.) and Feb. 27 (11 a.m. – 7 p.m.). The No. 2 Miller Lite show car will be on-site for viewing at the southeast corner of Las Vegas Blvd. and Flamingo Rd. On Feb. 26 (8:15 p.m. – 9:15 p.m.), NASCAR all-star Kurt Busch will sign autographs inside Indigo Lounge at Bally’s.

At Planet Hollywood, on Feb. 26 (7 p.m. – 8 p.m.), NASCAR enthusiasts are invited to the Playing Field Lounge for an autograph signing by racers Tony Raines and Travis Kvapil.   

At Harrah’s, the Crown Royal Ford Fusion show car will be available for viewing at Carnaval Court Bar & Grill. (Feb. 25, 5 p.m. – 11 p.m. and Feb 26., 8:30 p.m. – 11:30 p.m.) On Feb. 26 (8 p.m. – 9 p.m.), drivers Jason Keller and David Gilliland will sign autographs at Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill.

At Flamingo, the No. 40 Coors Light show car will be available for viewing between Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall & Saloon and the Flamingo (Feb. 27, 5 p.m. – 9 p.m.). NASCAR favorite Robby Gordon will sign autographs outside at Harrah’s Carnaval Court Bar & Grill, and the No. 7 Monster Energy Toyota Camry show car will be on display (Feb. 27, 7 p.m. – 8 p.m.).

And don’t miss the Hauler Parade!

Tons of hotspots around Las Vegas are offering Valentine’s Day specials you’re sure to fall in love with, including Harrah’s Las Vegas, Imperial Palace and Flamingo. Get all the details.

And if you’re still scrambling around for that perfect Valentine’s Day gift, we’ve got you covered. Stop by the Eiffel Tower Restaurant at Paris Las Vegas and pick up an Eiffel Tower Restaurant cookbook!

The cookbook cover is so soft, you may be tempted to use it as a pillow.

The cookbook is full of recipes for the dishes that have made the Eiffel Tower Restaurant such a popular dining destination in Las Vegas.

Make a souffle like a pro. Or have fun trying!

The cookbook has page after page of colorful photographs of the food, the Eiffel Tower and the restaurant itself, as well as easy-to-follow recipes.

How many restaurants are cool enough to give customers their recipes? It’s like an exclusive, guided, behind-the-scenes tour of the Eiffel Tower Restaurant kitchen (which can probably be arranged, come to think of it, just drop a note to @EiffelLyle on Twitter).

The specialties at the Eiffel Tower Restaurant look just as good in-person as they do in the cookbook’s photos.

We got up close and personal with a souffle during a recent visit. Wow!

Have a great Valentine’s Day, and regale us with your adventures in the Comments section. Well, the PG-13 adventures, anyway.

Another Eiffel Tower Restaurant masterpiece!

Who thinks comedian-magician Mac King is one of the best bets in Vegas? We do! But don’t take our word for it. Read what other people are saying about one of the best values in town.

When other magicians see Mac King's show, they get schooled.

See Mac King at Harrah’s Las Vegas. Find out more.

It’s a new year! And it’s a great time to look to the future. The distant future. Like, oh, tomorrow. Why? Because Jan. 2 is, wait for it, National Buffet Day!

No, this is not just some made-up marketing ploy. It’s a certified, nationwide day of observance. A day of conspicuous consumption of (g)astronomical proportions. We’d seek out the origins of this Vegas-friendly day, but we’re a blog, not an investigative reporter.

Quantity. Quality. Let's just admit it. Buffets are a highlight of any Vegas visit.

So, how will you celebrate National Buffet Day? We have an off-the-wall suggestion. How about enjoying a Las Vegas buffet? Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Here are our top picks of Las Vegas buffets where you can get your indulgence on.

Las Vegas is the center of the buffet universe. You're about to find out why.

Carnival World Buffet and Village Seafood Buffet at Rio Las Vegas

Rio Las Vegas not only gets credit for the granddaddy of all Las Vegas buffets, the Carnival World Buffet (consistently rated the best in the city), but it also boasts the only all-seafood, all-the-time buffet in town, the Village Seafood Buffet. The Carnival World Buffet offers more than 300 dishes (not a typo), prepared fresh daily, and more than 70 varieties of homemade pies, cakes and pastries all made from scratch. Read about the $24 all-day, all-access deal going on at Carnival World Buffet.

The Village Seafood Buffet features all your seafood favorites like lobster, snow crab legs, shrimp, fresh shucked oysters, sushi and more. See our post about this amazing seafood buffet.

Lago Buffet at Caesars Palace

One of the town’s premier destinations takes the buffet up a notch at Lago Buffet. Featuring fresh ingredients and many made-to-order specialties, the Lago Buffet offers a world-class selection of Asian fare, herb-roasted poultry and sauteed pastas. The weekend champagne brunch includes cooked-to-order omelets, herb-crusted prime rib, eggs Benedict, jumbo shrimp and crab legs on ice. In the buffet mood yet?

Le Village Buffet at Paris Las Vegas

Fine dining and buffets are most certainly not mutually exclusive, and Le Village Buffet is “le proof positive.” (Everything’s sexier with “Le” in front of it.”) Le Village Buffet highlights five French provinces. Each station is themed for a particular province, and meals are prepared as they are ordered to ensure quality and freshness.

Of course, no exceptional buffet would be complete without desserts galore! A large selection of pastries, pies and sugar-free delicacies are available at an extensive dessert station. Insider tip: If you have questions about the offerings, ask for the buffet’s Food Ambassador. Aside from being friendly and charming, he’s an endless source of information about the food being served up at this must-try buffet.

This is Ren, Le Village Buffet's master crepe-maker. Prepare to be mesmerized!

Flavors at Harrah’s Las Vegas

Flavors is a great place to satisfy any appetite. With live cooking stations, fresh seafood, all-you-can-eat crab legs and fresh cut prime rib, traditional comfort foods and a variety of pastries prepared to perfection, Flavors really does have something for everyone. Enjoy cuisines from around the world, including Brazilian BBQ, Italian casseroles, Asian selections and traditional Southwestern dishes. Good eats, great value.

For the record, Flavors at Harrah's is not affiliated with the rapper who wears clocks.

Paradise Garden Buffet at Flamingo Las Vegas

Last, but certainly not least, the Paradise Garden Buffet wins over hungry guests daily with its scrumptious salad and fresh fruit bar. The recently-revamped buffet includes prime rib, carved fresh turkey, steamed mussels and little neck clams with saffron cream sauce and roasted leg of lamb. That’s just the beginning! The dessert bar includes an ice cream sundae station along with freshly-baked pies, cakes, puddings and pastries. Read about how we recently crashed a wedding reception at the Flamingo’s buffet.

Just some of the temptations at the Flamingo's eye-popping dessert station.

We could go on and on about the best buffets in Vegas, but don’t take our word for it! Get out and explore one of Sin City’s succulent, scintillating, satisfying buffets. And not just on National Buffet Day, but any day of the year.

There was a lot of holiday joy being served up at Harrah’s Las Vegas on Christmas! Exactly how much? We’ve got an exclusive tally of how much food was served at Harrah’s Las Vegas on Christmas day. Take a look.

On Christmas day, Harrah’s served guests:

• 2,600 lbs. of turkey
• 100 gallons turkey gravy
• 800 lbs. mashed potatoes
• 20 whole bone-in hams
• 500 lbs. stuffing
• 150 lbs. cranberry sauce
• 600 lbs. prime rib
• 300 lbs. sweet potatoes

We’re thinking a good percentage of that food was enjoyed at Flavors, The Buffet at Harrah’s. Find out more.

No figgy puddings were harmed during the making of this blog post.

Big things are in the works for New Year’s Eve on the Strip. Among the highlights are New Year’s Eve celebrations at Harrah’s and Flamingo.

Carnaval Court at Harrah’s will host the Strip’s only outdoor New Year’s Eve bash. Live bands will include the popular Spazmatics (during the day) and The Crashers (at night), along with DJ L1 who will help ring in the New Year by spinning the hottest music until 3:00 a.m. Tickets are $30 and available by calling 702-369-5111.

Brace yourself for a 2010 blow-out at Carnaval Court.

Margaritaville at Flamingo is offering a New Year’s Eve package that includes live entertainment starting at 10:00 p.m., appetizers, an open bar (restrictions may apply), access to the rooftop to watch the fireworks and more.

The place to see and be seen on New Year's Eve.

Tickets to Margaritaville’s New Year’s bash are on sale for $125 per person. New Year’s party hours are 9:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. To purchase tickets, call 702-697-2546.

Feel the Vegas love with this amazing offer from Harrah’s Las Vegas. Book two nights and get one free. No fine print. Well, there probably is some, but we don’t find fine print particularly interesting. We’re a blog, not a lawyer.

How about spending less time reading photo captions and more time booking rooms? Thanks.

What we DO find interesting is this whole buy-two-get-one-free concept. Free is good. Book this limited-time deal and see just how far your dollar will go in Vegas these days! (Hint: Far.)

Some of the biggest names in Vegas surprised Harrah’s headliner Mac King on his birthday, including Donny Osmond, fresh from his recent “Dancing With the Stars” victory.

A photo op at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville in the Flamingo.

Others in attendance included magician Lance Burton, comedian Vinnie Favorito, Jeff Hobson and a Cher impersonator, among others. Read more.

Mac King, Harrah’s master of magic and comedic mayhem, will appear at Barnes & Noble on Dec. 11 (7-9 p.m.) to support Spread the Word Nevada, a children’s literacy nonprofit. Find out more.

These are stunt goldfish. They're fine.

Mac King will perform magic and participate in a storybook reading to support the grassroots organization that distributes books to at-risk children in Southern Nevada.

King has been a long-time supporter of Spread the Word Nevada, and presented the organization’s one-millionth book to a lucky student.

Donations of gently-used books will be accepted during the event. The Barnes & Noble is located at 567 N. Stephanie St. in Henderson.

See Mac King’s show at Harrah’s Las Vegas.

That’s right, it’s “Mac King” to most people, but we’re on a first name basis with this beloved comedy-magician. As far as we know.

This stunt was performed by professional stunt fish. Do not try this at home.

Anyway, happy birthday, Mac King! See him live at Harrah’s Las Vegas.

Read our exclusive story about how Mac (King) recently averted disaster while performing his death-defying act.

The celebrity tribute show Legends in Concert, at Harrah’s Las Vegas, has morphed into a holiday spectacular through Dec. 26.

The real Garth's tickets cost hundreds. What's the debate here?

“Legends” is the Strip’s longest-running celebrity tribute show, and its seasonal version showcases impersonators singing the chart-topping hits of their celebrity characters, as well as Christmas classics.

What tribute show would be complete without Elvis and bare midriffs?

Dolly Parton dishes out “Hard Candy Christmas,” Jerry Lee Lewis sings “Run Run Rudolph,” Tina Turner does Springsteen’s “Merry Christmas Baby” and Elvis croons “Blue Christmas.” The show concludes with a cast finale of “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

Learn more and get tickets.